Malin Andersson: ‘I wanted to end it all when I lost Consy – now I’m finding peace again’
By Fiona Cassidy
Former Love Island star Malin Andersson opens up about surviving the darkest days following her daughter’s death- and her hopes to have another baby one day.
After enduring a horrific year. Malin Andersson is the picture of health and happiness. and is in a chatty mood despite being jet lagged when Closer catches up with her. The former Love Island star has just touched down from a much-needed break in Bali. where ten days of blue skies. holistic healing sessions. yoga and therapy have given her a new lease of life.
‘It was very spiritual and helped to teach me that being alone can be okay. I had space to breathe. and it was a game changer.’ says Malin, who six months ago endured every mother’s worst nightmare when her baby daughter, Consy, tragically passed away at just four weeks old.
Since Consy’s death, Malin has shown remarkable resilience in the face of unimaginable pain, using her experience to help others deal with their grief. But the 26 year old admits that. in her darkest days as she watched her baby girl slowly lose her battle for her life, she began to collect sleeping tablets, preparing herself for a way out, too.
“From the day she was born, I was told she may not make it”, Malin tells Closer. “I thought. ‘If she’s going to go, I’m going to go, too.’ I didn’t want to be without her.” Consy- named her after Malin’s mother. who tragically lost her battle with cancer in November 2017 – was born last December, nearly two months early after a heart defect was detected at just 33 weeks into the pregnancy.
At just 4lb 8oz, baby Consy was too tiny to be operated on, and died four weeks later in hospital, with Malin by her side.
“After Consy died I locked myself in my apartment for about three weeks,” she explains. “I hadn’t even grieved properly after my mum’s death, and now Consy, too.
“I didn’t want to see anyone. I was drinking the whole time – and there were times I would grab my sleeping tablets and think. ‘Do I join Mum and Consy in heaven or do I stay here?’ One day, l decided I just couldn’t drink any more. I thought. ‘What a waste of a life, a waste of my mum’s life and of Consy’s life.’ It felt too selfish to take my own”.
A month later, Malin began weekly therapy sessions – which she still attends and bravely started to talk about her loss.
“It was a form of therapy for me to share my experiences.” says Malin who has developed a self-help app for people struggling with difficult situations. “It’s fulfilling to think that the suffering I’ve been through can be put to good use. The response has been amazing.”
Another significant step in the road to healing was Malin’s decision to end her toxic on/off 14-month relationship with Consy’s dad, Tom Kemp, in March.
Last month Malin took to lnstagram. claiming Tom had been abusive, and even accusing him of cheating while Consy was in intensive care. Tom strongly denied the claims, branding Malin “a liar with mental health issues”.
“I’d been suffering in silence with Tom.” she explains. ‘He was narcissistic and he humiliated and bullied me, but I kept going back for more because I thought I had no one else. I used him as a comfort blanket when I was vulnerable – it was toxic and I’ll never go back. I felt had to speak out to draw a line under it all.”
Now, she says she’s in no hurry to find Mr Right, “I want to find love- but sometimes the more you look for it the harder it is to find.” she says. “I’m texting a few guys at the moment but nothing serious. I’m just focusing on me right now.” And after rising to fame on notoriously looks-obsessed show Love Island in 2016, Malin admits her relationship with her body has since drastically changed. In the wake of online trolling over her appearance on the hit TV show, she spent £7k on a bum lift, liposuction and a boob job in a bid to boost her self-confidence. ‘
“I spent so long counting calories and weighing myself, getting rid of any food I put in my body- whether it was laxatives or making myself sick. I was unhappy and constantly feeling like I wasn’t good enough.”
Last week. Malin was praised by fans for posting a bikini picture from Bali – where she spent time at the Bliss Sanctuary For Women – celebrating her cellulite.
“Time is short and life is short,” says Malin. “What matters is being true and real – and I hope seeing a little bit of cellulite will make someone feel better about themselves.. Experiencing losses opens up your eyes to what’s important.”
Despite her suffering. Malin hopes one day to have more children. “Even though I had Consy, it doesn’t feel like I had the chance to be a mum, to be honest.” she admits. “At the time. it felt like it was so out of my hands. As a mother, you should have everything in-hand, but I couldn’t hold her – she was getting treated, washed, all by other people. I would love kids in the future. but absolutely not with Tom!”
Malin is now focused on building a new life for herself, with memories of her mum and baby girl serving as constant inspiration.
“I view everything differently now,” she admits. “I see how stressed people get about small things. how we’re so worried about what might happen, we don’t take enough joy in the present.”
She adds. “I picture how both my mum and Consy would be now. and I hope I’m making them proud. That keeps me going and gives me a sense of peace.”
Malin stayed at the Bliss Sanctuary for Women. For more information. visit Blisssanctuaryforwomen.com.
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