Blog 24: The lesson of the Black Water

So today Putu has taken charge of trying to sort out my Villa in Seminyak, Bali. Villa Ayu my own personal Villa that I have been renovating (not Bliss) .

He is doing a special blessing for the water as this has been a major issue with the pool turning black once a week and the well water being very dirty. It’s not nice living with constantly dirty, smelly, water, especially when the only exercise I can currently do and relief from back pain is in the pool!

Then we are getting it blessed by a priest on the full moon, which is a special one in Bali apparently.

They are now cleaning out the holding tank for the pool. The well has been cleaned and we are checking all the motors for the pool and well water which don’t seem to have filters? Then when it is less hot and sunny we will empty the pool to fix the pipes and stop the leak and re fill it from a truck with clean water.

Since growing up in Adelaide where everyone complains about the water … I would like to suggest it is a blessing to be able to drink from the tap, to wash in clean water, to have limitless hot water.

It is something to be thankful for not something to be taken for granted.

I’m ashamed of the things I’ve complained about when there are villages in Africa where the children walk for hours to get a few buckets of fairly dirty well water and in 3rd world countries and Islands like Bali where the water is actually quite a problem.

Our bodies are made up mostly of water. Our planets energy cycles are attributed greatly to the elements of water. Water is the gift of life.

Every time I got home to a black pool I would ‘lose it’ … I would get so angry, make lots of phone calls, demand someone to come and fix it … for some reason I would give all my power away to this.

To me it symbolised all the pain and physical ‘black-ness’ I was going through, the black-ness of migraines that were coming about as frequently as my black pool and as it’s situated in the heart of the villa it almost seemed like the spiritual centre was drained of life.

A Villa I have expended so much love and energy into. A villa that represented a safe haven and somewhere I could take the time to look after my health. A villa that just keeps sucking money out of me in trying to look after myself when I need it to grow the business.

It’s almost laughable that the whole business of Bliss is helping women to find their bliss and take time out for themselves while I am struggling so terribly with my health and every time I do something to take time out for myself it seems to backfire in a big way! Obviously I am missing something… spiritually, emotionally and physically.

So it’s time to look for other alternatives of healing. It is something I need to surrender to not try to control, something I need more help with.

Maybe this is the universe way of teaching me the opposite of ‘attachment’ that the world is my home, not Bali.

There is some excitement in the knowledge I may end up anywhere, or nowhere … there is also some dread and blackness in having no real place to call home. Something my pool served to remind me of constantly and something I need to accept and let go of. Maybe then the blackness will disappear?

So the next few months are about me letting go, following where my intuition takes me. A journey through the blackness and hopefully on the other side of great health, rather than just focusing on pain management. It’s time I let go of the pain and the blackness so I can function properly and start to shine.

This is the start of me putting the migraines, the back pain, the black pool, having no home, belonging nowhere, feeling alone… behind me.

This is the start of trusting my intuition and the universe to look after me … however that may work out.

This is the start of me letting go.

Deep Breath.

Here I go…

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