I’m here for a week and the first thing that jumps up on the tv is a news story promo on a catholic priest who is saying women in their 30’s should just settle if they want to be married.

The F word sprung to mind.

Then I laughed.

To be fair the priest is quite right … if all one aspires to in life is to be married then yes that is exactly what we need to do as massive personal sacrifices need to be made to engage in the institution of marriage and make it work.

I did it once.
It didn’t work.
I became his ‘wife’ and he stopped calling me by my name.

I was miserable.
He was angry.
We weren’t right together.

I had settled because I wanted to get married.
It ended in very little love and LOTS of tears and self loathing.
I’m so glad I’m over that part of my life.

Now I am free.
Now I am happy … because I choose to be.
Now I am making a difference to the world.

But yes I do get lonely.
So I got a dog and some new friends who are available with their time and started a great business.

Sometimes I am still a bit lonely.
But then again I was extremely lonely when I was in some of my longer term relationships.
I was definitely lonely after I got married.

So why do we want to get married?
Or why do people including major news networks and catholic priests think we need to be married?
And do we in fact want to be married?

I don’t know too many women pining about wanting to be married.
They/I just want to feel the connection with another human being and be loved and accepted and to give love and trust and intimacy to another human. Love.

I don’t want to be referred to as a ball and chain.
I want to share an amazing life with someone.

So it got me thinking about the institution of marriage.
I don’t generally like institutions of any kind!
Is it even relevant any more?

Living in Bali has given me an interesting perspective on marriage.

Marriage is a must based on their society working and supporting the masses.
There is no welfare system.
They live in villages.
The wife leaves her family and comes to live with the husband and his parents.
They join his families temple.
If she wants to leave she has no rights to the children.
So she doesn’t leave.
She stays and has affairs of the heart.
As does the husband in most cases.

Marriage is not about love.
Marriage is about a social structure.
So many divorces.
So much abuse.
It can build a sense of community.
It can help in raising a family and managing finances.
But what really goes on behind closed doors?

To be honest I think the single women in their 30’s issue in the western world is not about marriage it is about connection.  And this is for people of any age.

When as humanity we start working out how to reconnect with ourselves and the people around us is when we delete loneliness.

Whatever our circumstances happiness is a choice. If we are unhappy and blame it on not being married. Then we marry anybody just because they are available. Then this WILL NOT bring happiness.

If we are unhappy and look within ourselves and make a decision to be happy and change our circumstances and start living a life of service (not martyrdom but giving back in some way) then we will find happiness. Once we are happy it is a lot easier to connect.

The Modern Family is no longer a man, a woman, 2.4 children, a dog all living in one house with 2 cars.

Marriage doesn’t create a family or define one any more.
Marriage doesn’t define our individual identities.

So I must admit I struggle to understand how marriage impacts on us positively as a society anymore… unless you’re a wedding planner, a florist, hire out luxury cars, or run a function centre.

I certainly don’t see it as a negative being a single in my 30’s.

But I do still aspire to connect with somebody who wants to share their life with me.

But through love, not marriage.

Zxxx

I think I may have said this before in a blog … but being ignored is one of the most painful things.

For some reason it keeps happening over and over in my life to the point I’ve had to rethink friendships, readjust to moving away from the people I love and mourn the silence as ‘loss’ from a person I had started to grow very close too.

In a spiritual sense it is referred to as a death when you have a significant loss.

In schoolyards it is referred to as Bullying.

We all aspire to be loved, acknowledged and deemed important in other peoples lives and this is a natural thing, not something to be made to feel inadequate about.

Just recently after pondering quite a hurtful and unexplainable ‘loss’ in this way, I had a breakthrough realization after 45 days of soul searching and years of questioning; And deeming myself somehow to blame on a general sense for all accounts of this behaviour in the past.

On this occasion someone I started to care about immensely had withdrawn to the point of no contact … with no real explanation. Being in another country I was sitting here with an open heart that felt ‘beaten’. I knew this person had their own things to deal with and ultimately this was not about me. But when you open your heart to someone (and for me this was after many years of guarding it closely), whether it is a friend, associate or lover it is extremely hurtful and disrespectful to be ‘ignored’.

Ok on some occasions I do understand why people do this AFTER a person hasn’t accepted an explanation of withdrawl. That I can understand. But that is very different.

So while floating in the pool … yes it’s a hard life living in Bali J I suddenly realized this lesson kept re occurring because I need to learn to ‘Let Go’.

Such a simple yet important breakthrough for me.

After parting ways with some close friends as we just weren’t on the same page anymore I had finally let go.

After moving to another country and just not being a close part in so many friends and families lives in general, I had learnt to let go.

After leaving solid employment for a ‘stab in the dark’ at a whole new venture and turning my back on stability, I had learnt to let go.

And after my puppy tragically drowned after a couple of days of getting him and holding onto the guilt and shame, I had finally learnt to let go.

Of the image that other people have of me I have learnt to let go.

About being a control freak at the villa and having it run a certain way when I have an amazing and wonderful friend and employee who I trust implicitly, I learnt to let go.

But when I felt rejected by somebody I loved, I was having major difficulty! I realized this came out of ‘neediness’ within me rather than what was happening in the other persons life.

Intellectually I know that other peoples actions are about them and everything in their life up to this point … not about me.

I know that I can say the same thing to 100 different people and they will all take it differently based on their experiences.

I know that having an open heart can only be a great thing and give back to the world on an energetic level in a positive way.

I know that if I am feeling hurt then that is a reflection of something inside me.

After all, I could choose to not be affected by this happening at all.

I wish!

Based on everything that has happened in MY life to this point that isn’t a choice at all. I needed to feel this abandonment and realize my neediness. And I needed to let go.

So now I have Let Go …

And then I got an email! Lol.

A lovely email that explained everything in a way I could accept.

Nothing in our life is permanent.

It is a lesson we all have to learn, to let go.

Only through letting go have I been able to accomplish my dreams in successfully starting Bliss Sanctuary For Women and living in another country.

Just as we only ever have purpose in what we can give to others, we can only measure what we have in our hearts by the ‘stuff’ we have let go.

I’m sure if I was Buddhist I would be one step closer to enlightenment after this  breakthrough moment!!! Lol.

Much Love, Zoe x

Package 7:

The Humanitarian Package can be added to any other Bliss Sanctuary For Women Package and includes a $250 AUD donation.

This package is all about giving back to the children of Bali.
We have chosen 2 established, proven Bali foundations helping communities through educating and providing healthcare for children. Bali Children Foundation & Bali Kids.

Your $250 AUD will provide…

* BCF Western Community Project sponsoring 1 x primary school child education for 1 year.
* Includes primary school fees, clothing – uniform, school shoes, books and lesson materials
* Healthcare health and hygiene checks and supporting Balinese Communities through visits and provision of supplies
* Hygiene packs for one student including monthly packs of tooth paste, tooth brush, shampoo, soap, small towels and washing powder for clothes.
* English classes in the village in the existing new facility (BCF building).
* Costs for co-ordination – we need monitors, to get the children to class, transport costs and other add ons- including an annual Community party to help bring the community together in support of the children growing and learning.

Donations: For anybody wanting to bring donations stationery is good, pencils, pens, crayons, paper, paints etc.

Can you believe how much your $ can assist the children in Bali????
A little bit of love goes a long way!

Thankyou for wanting to give back to the communities helping to facilitate your Blissful Bali Experience.

NB: The $250 AUD can be added to any other Package. This component of the package is not subject to discounts.
Visits to an orphanage are difficult to arrange but special circumstances may be taken into consideration
Where we do visit the orphanage you need to bring $50 AUD to contribute to bags of rice and basics

http://www.balichildren.com/
http://balikids.org/

I always find the hardest times in life for me are the ‘in between’ times.

While the villa is half done.
In a relationship where you’re not quite sure.
Work is plodding along but not powering.
Friendships are feeling a bit blah and not connecting fully.
Recovering from illness.
Always tired.
The end of winter.

The low energy times in life.

It’s these times where I know personally I need to rally up the enthusiasm to ‘act’ as only action gets things done, helps self esteem and happiness.

But this action doesn’t need to be running a marathon or jumping out of a plane or finding a new job or causing arguments with your partner.
These actions can be ‘quiet’ time actions.

Meditating, catching up on sleep, calling your friends rather than catching up with them. Buying a nice bottle of wine to savour over a nice healthy home cooked meal.

It’s the small things we take for granted that we can find joy in again.
Taking a bath, doing a yoga class instead of a high energy zumba class, sharing a hearty meal, eating chocolate ☺

It’s at these times I turn the TV off at night and read a couple of pages of an inspiring, uplifting book. I may fall asleep after a few pages, but it’s better than mindlessly watching the box for hours when I actually need sleep.

It’s at these times that I go for a swim in the pool … a slow swim… rather than an intense walk or gym session.

It’s at these times I look for ‘chicken soup for the soul’ so to speak. I call my friends who are the kindest and let others know I will get back to them a little later.

Really it is about kindness to ourselves at these low energy times.

We all have them. It’s part of the cycle. The weather does the same thing.
Our body, hearts and soul need rejuvenation.

A friend of mine used to take a doona day off work. And she rarely got sick.

Keep the dog inside and have lots of cuddles instead of a big long walk.

Flick through a magazine and actually read the articles of interest.

Make a cup of tea instead of guzzling down coffees to keep you awake.

Make or buy a fresh juice instead of a soft drink.

Whatever it is that helps you be kind to yourself, whatever it is that you love … do it at these low energy times.

In nature animals hibernate, birds fly away for the winter, and many go underground and wait for the sun.
As humans we rarely allow ourselves to do this.

Even the weekends have big long lists of things to do attached to them. Shopping, So many celebrations we need to attend when we need to celebrate ourselves and our need for rest. It all gets a bit much really!

When do we take the time to recuperate and put our needs first?
So when you can … do!

It will be magical.

We all need to recuperate and give ourselves permission to just sit. Even if its when the kids go for a walk with your other half or go to a friends house.

The whole philosophy of being in the present moment lends itself to this.

Don’t do things just because they are on a list. Feel in your heart what you need / want to do and do it.

It can’t be wrong.
What part does guilt have to play here? Don’t let it in!
Take the ‘shoulds’ out of the vocabulary.

And just be …

A deep breath can do wondrous things.

Zxxx

We are bombarded so often with opinions.
They are not the truth.
It is not honesty.
An opinion is simply what somebody else thinks.

Somebody elses words are marred by their own experience and quite often are an expression of manipulation. When others try to coerce us into thinking the same way as them this is not our truth. And so often we make it our truth.

How often in life I have been so deflated by a harsh comment which reflects anothers opinion, which actually reflects their own self esteem and I let if affect mine.

Very rarely when somebody projects their viewpoint onto another is it about anybody but themselves.

In training our new hostess at BSFW there have been many times where she has thought somebody has held a certain belief about her, only to be corresponded with at a later date with nothing but love and acceptance and longing to be back within the loving embrace of her friendship.

What an eye opener to realise other peoples ‘stuff’ … moods, opinions, harsh words, negative comments … come from a place within their own heart so separated from us. Even when it is projected onto us almost always without that intent.

It is such a powerful act of self esteem not to be affected by any of these external influences.

It is also a measure of self esteem when we are affected… and an opportunity to look at ourselves and our own integrity and honesty and work out why we feel the way we do.

And then there is forgiveness.
Forgiveness for ourselves and forgiveness for others and the letting go of the beliefs that do not serve us.

By understanding our own internal dialogue and why we give our power away to other peoples opinions we become so much stronger and shine a little more light.

Once we start really looking closely at what we say to others and what we accept about what others say, it is overwhelming to hear all of the fear. The fear of a lack of acceptance, the fear of being isolated, the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and being judged. The list goes on.

To live in fear is to have no freedom.
To live without judgement is the purest expression of freedom.
When people judge us we do not need to accept the judgement … if we do then we are succumbing to fear and giving away our freedom.

It is ok to think differently.
It is ok not to share the opinion of a person you care about or try to make them share yours.
It is ok to hear somebody elses opinion and decide whether it is reflecting your own truth and to act accordingly.

It is powerful to hear the projection of our own words and learn from them as they are always a projection of what is in our own hearts.

Given the content of my blogs are of such a personal nature I have had different criticisms from people about attaching these to my professional website, the nature of the content within the blogs, or the fear of ending up in one.

All of these criticisms come only from the heart of the person making them.
The content of my blogs are the result of cathartic processes of self learning and realisations and the truth I have gleaned from these experiences that I have wanted to share.

Whenever I come up against a criticism or negative comment, I know it is not about me so I don’t need to feel any emotion or buy into the pain of not being accepted.

I also get an overwhelmingly lot of positive feedback via personal emails and even though I like to accept these opinions, they too are not about me but about the experience of the person reading the blog and expressing their feelings.

My spiritual aim is to always speak with integrity, truth and love and when I don’t I need to look at the emotions and see where they point to, where the pain and fear comes from. I also hope to find even more freedom in not needing anybody elses acceptance.

I think I have a long road ahead of me to reach this point … but I’m getting there ☺

Much Love, Zoe xxx

I must say at this ridiculously busy time of year with the xmas rushing around, tripling the work load for some expected time off which is full of Xmas parties, present buying, catching up with family which can be just plain stressful, holidays, retail frenzy in the sales, beach time … I am absolutely exhausted just thinking about it!

And I’m not even in Australia yet! That will all start for me in 2 days when I’m back there with absolutely no Xmas shopping done, while for now I’m packing up all my stuff for our new hostess to move in, organizing a photo shoot for PR with my beautiful friends Laura and Monica, cleaning the villa, typing up all my notes, having meetings with staff, and getting my hair done whilst writing this blog! ☺

So what is deep rest?

To me it’s something I see my guests relish in as they honour themselves by taking a week out with no decision making, space for thinking, nurturing activities, soaking up the sun, yummy food, and lovely company, earlyish nights, and moving through all those emotional issues that had been put on hold, or just clearing their minds of all the stress.

It is so amazing what creating space in our lives can achieve!

And when do we EVER create that space?

In quite a conundrum , I have created a business around this which is unique and not about scheduled activities but each woman honouring what they need on a moment by moment basis. Every woman has a completely different and personal experience.

The main things I have learnt from the women around me is that deep rest comes from simplifying our life (even if just for a week), not having to make decisions or stick to a schedule, and allowing themselves to sleep if they need to sleep, stay still and NOT do anything if they really don’t want to and start to quiet the mind through reflection. Yoga can help but many choose not to do it. Meditation can help but many women struggle with it. Massage definitely helps A LOT. And the women who do the least are the women who transform the MOST!

The concepts of what we THINK we need to rejuvenate ourselves, is so different to the actualities. And having the freedom and space to do nothing is something so ridiculously amazing … and yet I don’t think I have ever done it!!!

Isn’t that ridiculous!

I need a holiday at Bliss lol.

In all honesty, I could sleep for a week, and I just may do that!
Or is that wishful thinking going back to Oz and the Christmas craziness, not to mention the pressure of coming back after almost a year and catching up with everyone. (which I cant wait to do!)

I am even contemplating getting a place there that I can setup and go back to when I need… a place to call home as not having my own base is starting to take its toll.

But what a waste of money for somewhere I’ll only be for 3 months of the year?

Or is it?

I need space in my life to rejuvenate myself so I have the strength to give.
I need to rest when I am tired.
I need to have time and space to think and create.
I need to be happy.
I need to be strong.
I need to be healthy.

So why is it even a question to create a time for deep rest in our lives?
Have we lost the basic truths of our needs so much that we negate ourselves and deepest needs at every turn?
How does it honour ourselves to ignore ourselves?

That is the deepest lack of self esteem we could have.
Yet we spend so much energy convincing the world that we have it all together.

There is a time for busy-ness, there are times in our lives we can’t sit still, there are times in our lives where others needs must come first and times when we feel helpless, sad, angry, and a victim to our circumstances.

And that is ok. It is part of the cycle.
But deep rest also needs to be in there as part of the cycle … otherwise like the weather patterns it basically takes a natural disaster to clear everything away for growth.

It’s just a matter of making the decision to take deep rest when we can.

So I’m going to take my own advice and create some space!
And see what magic comes from it.

Zxxx

About 2 hours ago I had a massive breakthrough moment … a physical release from our massage healer that cracked my back so enormously it left me sobbing for the last 90 minutes.

For those of you who don’t know, I have suffered 4 years of chronic backpain and migraines from a car accident in Adelaide just before I left for Sydney.
This was the loneliest, most isolating, painful time in my life. It affected every part of me from, friendships, work, social life, diet, exercise regime, and self esteem to name a few.

Now when I look in the mirror I see as the Balinese would say a ‘broken’ body. Not the lively, energetic, lean, active body I used to have. I would suggest that it may be how someone feels upon finishing their cancer treatment and looking in the mirror and seeing themselves pale, exhausted and with short hair. They are thankful to be alive and know they are through the worst of it hoping for the best, but every time you look at your reflection in the mirror it’s unrecognisable. And every time you see that short hair it reminds you of all the pain you’ve been through. It is the same with me in the ways I have changed.

I have never been through cancer so I hope any cancer survivors won’t feel like I’m speaking for them or demeaning anything they have gone through. This was the most life changing painful experience of my life, and that’s where the similarities lie.

Through this time, I felt I became quite distant from a lot of friends as our lives were so different. Only I knew what pain I was in and for the most part I covered it well for the people around me. I was completely alone, lived alone, looked after myself and often went for months without seeing anybody except for work. And even then I was often sick for weeks at a time and had to take prolonged periods off where I would see no one.

About 18 months ago i went back to Adelaide for an amazing job with a fantastic company. After 3 months I met Dr Rogers who helped rid me of migraines over an 8 month period through laser treatment. This was an extremely difficult time as I seemed to get sicker and sicker… and then finally I got better.

Dr Rogers was the only person on this earth who I felt understood what I was going through. I knew this when he told me ‘Zoe most people see improvements after 3 months but it stands to reason you haven’t seen any yet at 7.5 months as you have to do everything yourself and your body has no time to heal.’ He urged me to take prolonged time off but this was impossible with my job and my reliance solely upon myself financially.

Just when I thought it was all too hard and I was completely sick of the pain and falling into depressive thoughts i took a week off and went to Bali. This was exactly what I needed. I stayed on Lembongan Island on my own and recuperated. I got a taste of what life would feel like if I had time to rest and get better.

When I got home after some significant conversations with some of my closest friends i realised I was the only one who could make the decisions I needed to get better, so I did. I decided to move to Bali for 12 months and heal my body. My settlement had been finalised with the insurers for my car accident and I decided the thing I needed most in the world was my physical & emotional health.

It was only after this decision that the idea of Bliss Sanctuary For Women was born. The business and marketing plans came thick and fast sitting in bed every night formulating my plans and researching. 3 months later I started putting the plans into action and here I am!

As a lot of you know this has been an amazingly successful experience. We have a long way to go but it is so fulfilling to recognise a need and do something about meeting that need. In this case it is the need for support and a safe environment to nurture oneself as a woman traveling on her own or with a friend. It is about giving back to oneself to recharge and make the most out of life.

During this time I have had very little time to actually tend to my own health needs. I bought a scooter so I could have some time off without relying on all my staff, and I could visit some of the amazing organic cafes around and start a detox. The first day I started on the scooter I fell off and hurt myself. After limping around for a week and just watching the bruises heal and getting strength back into my left wrist I thought it was time to see my healer Sami again. He was there when i came off helping to calm the bruising and assess the damage, and now I needed him again.

I remember talking with a new amazing Bali friend, Monica who does our personalised detoxes and she said on a symbolic level if you fall off on the right side it means you’re needing to slow down in life and if you fall on the left it means you’re stuck. I just assumed she got this the wrong way around as I fell to the left. But as it happens I was completely stuck.

So today I saw Sami, and I finally had enough trust to let him crack my back. I can’t even explain what a big thing this is after Chiro’s, Osteo’s, Physio’s, doctors, masseusses etc all causing more harm than good over the last 4 years!

After a quite painful massage (lets face it my body is working at about 35% capacity) came the big crack. It went from my neck down to my lower back. The shock I felt was so overwhelming and I started balling. Then I couldn’t stop.

I sent the girls off to dinner without me and had a bath. I didn’t know why I was so upset. After a while I settled down and started to breathe properly again. I sat for a while in the bath feeling the release and sadness of 4 years of loneliness, isolation, pain, anger, frustration all being released. And then I smiled.

Now I am at another new beginning of renewed health and vitality.

I wouldn’t take back one second of that pain as I wouldn’t be here in Bali running my own business empowering women to do something amazing for themselves. But I am so thankful that so much has been released personally as now I know how to fill that void with happiness and laughter.

Thankyou for listening.
Zxxx

The horrible connotation with chubby chasers, the awful things people say about women like Christina Aguilera who flaunt their curves after a bit of weight gain (& still look amazing btw), the mirror that stares back at me 20 kilos heavier.

The weird thing is I am so conflicted about it.

I know I have put on lots of weight BUT it’s because I’ve been sick.

I know lots of men like curves BUT there’s a lot less guys throwing themselves at me than when I was 20 kilos lighter.

I am feeling great emotionally … calm, happy, clear minded, excited, balanced, open. The best I have felt in a long time. BUT I can’t help feeling I should be skinny!

I love it when I see women who are so confident in their own skin and I think they look so beautiful with their breasts spilling out, their hips seductively beckoning as they walk, their bodies and eyes and smiles so full of life. BUT sometimes I just cannot see myself the same way and my internal dialogue is just so mean!

Over the last few years I have had quite a few friends lose a lot of weight. Some very quickly, and others over 12 –24 months. In speaking to any of them they have changed their diet to eat for pain not pleasure and their exercise regime to punish their bodies into being skinny. Quite frankly I don’t want to do that!

I have done that.

There were 2 skinny times in my life that stand out to me (apart from when I was 16).

The first was when I had a strict naturopathic regime of certain foods I could eat. I actually enjoyed the foods and sustained this for many years. And I was doing martial arts and gym work which I loved. Life was good. Then I met my boyfriend who ended up moving in with me and the balance of life changed. He actually went to a dietitian to put on weight mmmm that ended in tears… for me!

Then we broke up after 4+ years for various reasons and I spiraled into a state of turmoil over every aspect of my life. It was the loss of everything in my life that I wasn’t coping with and I had severe anxiety. The weight dropped off me. I looked fabulous on the outside but it was like my body was lying to trick everybody about what was going on in the inside.

A bit like now really but the other way around!

The fact is, I like my body (mostly) … until I’m confronted with someone skinnier who looks amazing sitting next to me in bathers. I’m not sure why I give my power away in these situations and give myself a self esteem battering.

It is so much easier to look at OTHER women with (real) curves and think they look amazing. (Not the fake E news ones who have a promo saying curves are back and overlook the amazing Christina Hendricks from Madmen to vote Scarlett Johansen number 1. Ummmm she is skinny with boobs and a push up bra. She is NOT curvy.)

Looking at old nudes in the art Gallery is one of my favourite things… I think they look so beautiful. Sigh. Not too many nude models look like that anymore. But I do!

So in truth I don’t really want to be skinnier in terms of the pain I have to go through to do it. I just want to love and accept myself more.

I came to Bali initially to help heal and balance my life. I’ve ended up opening up an amazing business that cares and nurtures women, and as my last guest said, ‘changes peoples lives’. I am so happy and content and I love my life. Yes I still get lonely for a consistent relationship with close friends, family and a gorgeous man. But I feel so blessed and thankful which is an amazing place for my head and heart to be in.

I have done some things for myself in this time, but really living at the Villa 24/7 in service to my staff and guests I haven’t given myself the time to self nurture and become physically healthier. But I have had a lot of massages ☺

Our amazing healer Sami (refer to blog #1) has been working with me on my health and it seems it’s a much slower process than I thought. He told me I’m not meant to lose a lot of weight, if I didn’t look like this I wouldn’t be ‘Zoe’. I’m still disappointed he hasn’t made me skinny yet!

He has explained to me that the body I was born with has big breasts to protect my heart and lung meridiens which are linked to my large intestine … all of which are prone to weakness and help determine my body shape… So it’s not just all those banana pancakes!?!

And even though I know why I look the way I do and what I have to do to change it… I am still conflicted!
Because deep down I am quite happy with my curves, I’m not willing to put myself through more pain for weightloss and I still hate the thought of being called chubby.

Looking at myself and seeing myself the same way I see those other curvy beautiful women will go a long way. Now I just have to open my eyes.

Actually, if you look in the mirror and blink really fast, you look so much skinnier … And surely that’s considered exercise?????

PS: (the following note has been added 2 days after the blog has been written after various responses via fb)

I just wanted to share with you some feedback from a dear friend who is on her own amazing journey in life and who completely gets the intention of this blog. It is not a blog making excuses about being chubby, it is a blog representing all women of all sizes and the way our self dialogue sometimes gets in the way of our self esteem. It is about the honesty and acceptance of the situation we are in. For me personally it is a dialogue with myself about my own self acceptance in the hope other women will find the courage to look at their amazing selves through new eyes full of love.

20% off $2750 = $2200 + taxes

The Bliss Experience Includes…

5 – 7 Days
Your own private room within the beautiful 4 bedroom Villa
King Size Bed or 2 x Large King Singles
Plasma TV & DVD
Your own private Bathroom including Bath tub for relaxing soaks
Glittering Pool within a beautiful Balinese garden environment
Meditation Spaces
Yoga is offered for all levels & various styles in partnership with a nearby specialist yoga centre Desa Seni
Daily Massage / Spa Treatments up to 1.5 hours per day
Bliss spa toiletries
Fresh Gourmet tantalizing local healthy cuisine – Bfast, Lunch, Dinner & snacks
Like to cook? Join our team & Learn to cook authentic Indonesian at meal preparation time plus trips to the local food markets if you like an authentic experience
Endless Supply of Purified or Bottled Water, Coffee, Herbal teas
Personal Drivers will take you wherever & whenever you’d like to go
Pushbikes for riding around the rice paddies & to the beach
Airport transfers
Fresh Juice on Arrival
Complimentary Wi-Fi / Email facilities
Small Groups of less than 5 women at any one time (no children, no couples)
Personalised itinerary consultation & booking services with your Bliss Hostess
Room for 1: $2,750 AUD + taxes
20% off $2750 = $2200 + taxes TOTAL: $2530

Room for 2: $3,900 AUD + taxes
20% off $3900 = $3120 + taxes TOTAL: $3588 for 2 or $1794 each

(all inclusive meals within Villa, yoga, massage, personal transport, airport pickups)

* subject to last minute changes based upon availabilities & bookings.
* Confirmation of Arrival & Departure dates & times required before final quotation
* Flight arrivals must be before 9:00pm. Departures at anytime with open checkout times
* 50% Non Refundable Deposit required prior to booking your package.

Being a 37 yo single woman with no kids, quite often my lifestyle has been referred to as selfish.

Mmmm I’m very sorry but that is just blatantly incorrect.

Putting myself first whilst thinking of the effect it has on others is NOT selfish.
Putting my needs above others is actually the only way I can build self esteem and honor myself … it is the natural way.

By not putting my needs first or adhering to the honesty of what is right I am neither serving myself or the world. I am not a martyr.

A well known example of this is when somebody is drowning you must not jump in but throw them something to hold on to. How does it serve anybody to jump in to an almost certain death?

Another example is fixing your oxygen mask before that of your children with complications on a plane. Only then can you be the maximum help and there is much more likelihood that your child will survive.

As adults it is our job both spiritually and in every way to serve ourselves so we can serve others.

Each isolated incident may seem selfish to others, but each time we negate our own needs we become weaker. So then how do we serve?

If I am feeling sick but it is somebodies birthday am I best to send wishes and stay home to get better and live my best life? Or should I push myself to go so as not to disappoint somebody when I obviously need to honor my body and stay home and rest? Not to mention infecting other people with my germs … is that not essentially the more selfish option as I would be choosing to be liked over other peoples health and wellbeing as well as my own?

If I am happy about something happening in my life and I express that feeling to a friend knowing they are feeling quite down at that moment, does this mean I am selfish? How could an expression of sincere happiness be selfish? Only if I ignore my friends feelings altogether. But if I am there to hold a hand and offer advice it is wrong of me to act downtrodden to make somebody feel better. It is not honest.
A real friend will accept my feelings of euphoria the same way I accept they are feeling down. At an emotional arms length and as much understanding as possible.

If I have more freedoms in my life than yours, that doesn’t make me selfish.
If I have more money than you that doesn’t make me selfish.
If I choose to tell you what is going on in my life, that doesn’t make me selfish.

If I haven’t been able to find a life partner at this juncture in my life it is a sadness and loneliness I must live with… it is not selfish.

The dictionary definition…

1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

Based on the above definition I would challenge us to start thinking outside of our limited views on other peoples actions as they are usually based upon our own selfishness ie how it effects us or makes us feel.

It is not wrong to be concerned primarily with ones own interests, benefits, welfare etc… only if it is regardless of others.

It is not selfish to care for oneself, but if ‘only’ for oneself.

If you make a decision that serves you after assessing the impact on others then you are not only caring for oneself.

We need to start expecting humankind to make the best decision for ourselves. An enlightened person would do so out of ultimate service to others.

If I sit around all day thinking about how I can help mankind with no means to do so I am more selfish than the business tycoon who acts and makes enough money to help hundreds or millions of people.
Or is it?

If I am a mother who goes to work to support my children and give them the best I can and I honestly do this for the perceived good of my children, I am not acting selfishly. Just as being a stay at home mum and struggling financially but being there for my kids emotionally is not selfish. It just means both mothers have a different set of values and neither are right or wrong.

So doing what is best for you to be the best person you can in any given situation is NOT selfish.

It is necessary.

If we all did this mankind would be extremely empowered with high self esteem and little inclination to take … as we would know that giving is the biggest gift.

We can only give what we have.

Monks sit for years meditating to find enlightenment, in reality giving very little back to the world at large. They know it is their duty to attain the highest spirituality they can.

In Christianity it is taught that god is within us … so to honor god we must honor ourselves.

For those women and people who run themselves into the ground tending to everybody elses needs, you need to stop and tend to your own needs.

In order to give.

Zxxxx