Every single word we think or say becomes part of the design we have for our life. Our internal dialogue can be so harsh as can the opinions of others. What we listen to and accept as our own belief is all that matters in our life, so we need to be aware of our own truth before buying into other peoples.
We are bombarded so often with opinions.
They are not the truth.
It is not honesty.
An opinion is simply what somebody else thinks.
Somebody elses words are marred by their own experience and quite often are an expression of manipulation. When others try to coerce us into thinking the same way as them this is not our truth. And so often we make it our truth.
How often in life I have been so deflated by a harsh comment which reflects anothers opinion, which actually reflects their own self esteem and I let if affect mine.
Very rarely when somebody projects their viewpoint onto another is it about anybody but themselves.
In training our new hostess at BSFW there have been many times where she has thought somebody has held a certain belief about her, only to be corresponded with at a later date with nothing but love and acceptance and longing to be back within the loving embrace of her friendship.
What an eye opener to realise other peoples ‘stuff’ … moods, opinions, harsh words, negative comments … come from a place within their own heart so separated from us. Even when it is projected onto us almost always without that intent.
It is such a powerful act of self esteem not to be affected by any of these external influences.
It is also a measure of self esteem when we are affected… and an opportunity to look at ourselves and our own integrity and honesty and work out why we feel the way we do.
And then there is forgiveness.
Forgiveness for ourselves and forgiveness for others and the letting go of the beliefs that do not serve us.
By understanding our own internal dialogue and why we give our power away to other peoples opinions we become so much stronger and shine a little more light.
Once we start really looking closely at what we say to others and what we accept about what others say, it is overwhelming to hear all of the fear. The fear of a lack of acceptance, the fear of being isolated, the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and being judged. The list goes on.
To live in fear is to have no freedom.
To live without judgement is the purest expression of freedom.
When people judge us we do not need to accept the judgement … if we do then we are succumbing to fear and giving away our freedom.
It is ok to think differently.
It is ok not to share the opinion of a person you care about or try to make them share yours.
It is ok to hear somebody elses opinion and decide whether it is reflecting your own truth and to act accordingly.
It is powerful to hear the projection of our own words and learn from them as they are always a projection of what is in our own hearts.
Given the content of my blogs are of such a personal nature I have had different criticisms from people about attaching these to my professional website, the nature of the content within the blogs, or the fear of ending up in one.
All of these criticisms come only from the heart of the person making them.
The content of my blogs are the result of cathartic processes of self learning and realisations and the truth I have gleaned from these experiences that I have wanted to share.
Whenever I come up against a criticism or negative comment, I know it is not about me so I don’t need to feel any emotion or buy into the pain of not being accepted.
I also get an overwhelmingly lot of positive feedback via personal emails and even though I like to accept these opinions, they too are not about me but about the experience of the person reading the blog and expressing their feelings.
My spiritual aim is to always speak with integrity, truth and love and when I don’t I need to look at the emotions and see where they point to, where the pain and fear comes from. I also hope to find even more freedom in not needing anybody elses acceptance.
I think I have a long road ahead of me to reach this point … but I’m getting there ☺
Much Love, Zoe xxx